Wednesday, July 12, 2017

In Awe of God

I just came from the presence of the Lord.  I was compelled to speak boldly with conviction, and then I was silenced.  Let me explain....

It has been a busy week so far.  After a twelve hour day of work yesterday, I was a bit sleepy.  I had slept in this morning - which didn't give me my routine time for my 30-60 minute walk where I pour my heart out to God and pray for those souls we're seeking to reach.  I'd barely had time to have my devotions.

Then later I find out it was our Bible study contacts birthday and ran to buy her a Bible she had been wanting as well as a few other things.  I briefly skimmed over my answers to the Bible study lesson before leaving to go to the study with her and tell her "Happy Birthday".

Jane* hadn't completed her lesson either.  I asked my friend from church to pray.  She prayed for me that God would give me the words and anoint me.  As she prayed I couldn't help but think, "I haven't given this study for a while, I don't know how I'm going to do this, I'm not prepared enough, and I'm not feeling 100%, I'm a little wore out."  But once I began to lead out in the lesson study all such thoughts were put out of my mind.

I begin to share how sin entered the world.  Thoughts and illustrations came to my mind as we continued our study.  Thought of the beautiful loving character of God....How he created us for the purpose of walking before Him in love and how sin defeats this purpose....How sin results from distrusting God's character.  "It's all about God.  It's not about us being a good person", I say.  As I continue I realize how pertinent this Bible study is - for the truth of our sinfulness and need of a Savior is a foreign concept to secular society.  The world says, "Trust your heart", the Bible says "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked."  As I continued, I could see the wheels turning in Jane's eyes.  "You mean we're born sinners?"  She asks.  This was a new concept for her.  Then I show her from the Bible how we are sinners - in fact we're all born sinners.

After sharing that we can't even trust our heart, she asks, "What do we do then?"  My heart is convicted of the seriousness of this question, and I'm grateful to see her asking the most essential question ever!  My mind goes to the story of Nicodemus where Jesus showed Him how he must be born again.  I continue to pray for the Holy Spirit as I turn to share that story with her.

She has to use the restroom part way through our Bible study, and I bow my head and pray for the Holy Spirit to continue to work on her heart, and to give me the words to of say.

I can't wait to show her the promise in Ezekiel 36 that says, "Then I will sprinkle clean water upon you, and ye shall be clean....A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh."  (Ezekiel 36:25-26).  "Is that like baptism?" she asks.  I explain to her in utmost brevity how baptism is a symbol of a change of heart that God has already worked by giving us His spirit.  Conviction and boldness deepening in my own heart, I feel impressed to read Ezekiel chapter 37 which talks about God sending His spirit upon the dry bones.  "You see the change God does for us is just as dramatic as bones becoming living people!  We don't have anything in ourselves to commend ourselves to God!  We are totally dependent upon Him for everything!  When we accept Christ into our lives He makes a complete transformation.  The drunk man becomes sober.  The fearful timid woman becomes confident and bold."

Tears flood down her cheeks.  "These are tears of joy", Jane says.  "I've learned more in the short time we've been studying together since I've met you ladies than I have in my entire life."

We continue by reading in Revelation 3 which speaks of our condition - that we are blind and miserable and poor and naked - we see our need of Jesus, and how Jesus is knocking on the door of our hearts.  Bible verses flood into my mind and I share them.  I can't help but tell about the young man who came to Jesus wanting to be saved, and saying he had kept the commandments from his youth, and yet he wasn't willing to give all to Jesus.  I close with an appeal.  "Do you want to give all to Jesus?"  She says yes and repeats a prayer after me accepting Jesus into her heart - on her 60th birthday.

After leaving Jane's house, and getting into the car with my friend from church, she says to me, "This Bible study was different."  "How was it different?"  I ask.  "You spoke with more boldness and conviction", she told me.  "It was God!" I reply.  "Thank you for praying for me", I replied.

I couldn't say any more.  It is amazing that God can use a sinner to reach out to another sinner, and connect a soul to the Savior!  More than ever before in my life I felt humbled.  Humbled because I had not prepared any words.  Humbled because I'm no better than her.  Humbled because God had just given me the Words.  Humbled because God's Holy Spirit had been working on my heart, giving me Bible promises and words to share, and the conviction to speak with more boldness than I normally do.  And He had touched Jane's heart - to the point of tears. 

No feelings of a desire to be some great Bible teacher, or pastor or evangelist now could find any room in my heart, instead the song on my heart was, "Hide Me Now Under the Shadow of Your Wings."  I wanted to run and hide and pray.  To worship God in His majesty.  I felt like Isaiah when he exclaimed, "Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts."  (Isaiah 6:5).  I felt the need of a deeper walk with God, in case He might see fit to use me again someday.  I felt a deep conviction of the seriousness of the work God has committed to me to win souls to the kingdom.

God still works miracles today.  The greatest miracle is a changed heart.  He uses us in spite of our unworthiness.  He sends out His Holy Spirit to convict souls of their need to come to Him.  The question is, are we available to be used by Him?  Can we sing with all sincerity of heart "Nothing between my soul and my Savior"?  What is between you and your Savior, my friend?  Have you given Him your all?  If not, why not try doing so right now?