Broken Hearts

How do you define heart break?  A dictionary definition defines it as "Devastating sorrow and despair!"  Pain is something I don't like, the idea of being broken just doesn't sound comfortable.  I want to be competent, successful, happy, you feel in the blank, ANYTHING but hurt, broken, empty....

I recently found these paragraphs regarding a broken heart:

"Jesus gazes upon the scene, and the vast multitude hush their shouts, spellbound by the sudden vision of beauty. All eyes turn upon the Saviour, expecting to see in His countenance the admiration they themselves feel. But instead of this they behold a cloud of sorrow. They are surprised and disappointed to see His eyes fill with tears, and His body rock to and fro like a tree before the tempest, while a wail of anguish bursts from His quivering lips, as if from the depths of a broken heart. What a sight was this for angels to behold! their loved Commander in an agony of tears! What a sight was this for the glad throng that with shouts of triumph and the waving of palm branches were escorting Him to the glorious city, where they fondly hoped He was about to reign! Jesus had wept at the grave of Lazarus, but it was in a godlike grief in sympathy with human woe. But this sudden sorrow was like a note of wailing in a grand triumphal chorus. In the midst of a scene of rejoicing, where all were paying Him homage, Israel’s King was in tears; not silent tears of gladness, but tears and groans of insuppressible agony. The multitude were struck with a sudden gloom. Their acclamations were silenced. Many wept in sympathy with a grief they could not comprehend." DA 575.3

"The tears of Jesus were not in anticipation of His own suffering. Just before Him was Gethsemane, where soon the horror of a great darkness would overshadow Him. The sheepgate also was in sight, through which for centuries the beasts for sacrificial offerings had been led. This gate was soon to open for Him, the great Antitype, toward whose sacrifice for the sins of the world all these offerings had pointed. Near by was Calvary, the scene of His approaching agony. Yet it was not because of these reminders of His cruel death that the Redeemer wept and groaned in anguish of spirit. His was no selfish sorrow. The thought of His own agony did not intimidate that noble, self-sacrificing soul. It was the sight of Jerusalem that pierced the heart of Jesus—Jerusalem that had rejected the Son of God and scorned His love, that refused to be convinced by His mighty miracles, and was about to take His life. He saw what she was in her guilt of rejecting her Redeemer, and what she might have been had she accepted Him who alone could heal her wound. He had come to save her; how could He give her up?" DA 576.1

What really struck me as I read this is that Jesus' tears were NOT in anticipation of His own suffering, not for the separation from is Father or for the cruel death He was about to endure!  Just let that sink in...I had to!  What unselfishness!  What love!  For all the times I've been afraid of being hurt, afraid of pain, for all the times I've complained to God and said "I can't take this", and yet look at the example He has set for me!

What breaks my heart?  What do I weep over?  Where are my affections?  How often am I upset over selfish reason?  I find myself so self-centered and focused on what pleases me.  What about the souls whom Christ died for?  What about those who have never heard the name Jesus before?  What about the children starving in other countries, while I have more than enough?  Should not my heart ache for those souls?  Should not my heart throb in unison with my Savior who desires that none should perish, but that all should come to repentance?

My mind goes back several weeks ago, as I was sitting in class.  We had a guest speaker speaking, his topic was world religions.  I set enthrolled, learning of religions I knew little about.  As I heard about those who believe that life=suffering, that we are reincarnated, and the whole purpose of life is to never live again, but to die and be at peace, my heart felt something I have never felt to that extent before!  An aching for those who know nothing of Jesus' love, a burden for the unreached.  I started crying and couldn't stop till I was alone in prayer after class.  I wish I could say that has been the only thing I have cried over this semester!  I wish I could say this was more common, but sadly it isn't.

How often does loneliness, separation, or broken hopes, make us feel broken-hearted?  And yet, Jesus was willing to go through separation, the cruelest death ever, but what broke his heart was the thought that maybe His sacrifice would not be accepted and would not break my stubborn heart!  The chosen nation He had poured so much into was rejecting Him, His CLOSEST friends, betrayed Him, but HE DIDN'T give up.  He knew not if His hope that souls would be eternally saved, would come to pass, He couldn't see past the tomb.  FOREVER separtated from the love of His Heavenly Father, from the place where He was loved appreciated, accepted, worshiped, adored.  AND YET, He was willing to take the risk, for me....for you!  Even though He didn't KNOW we would accept!  What love is this!

What a rebuke to me when I wonder why I invest in friendships, why I need to live in vulnerability, why I need to be a part of community, why I need to love with no ulterior motives.  My heart is so proud!  How hard-hearted I am!

I found these definitions to the word "broken" particularly interesting: "Reduced to fragments, not functioning properly."  Ironically, that is just what God desires of us - that we be reduced to fragments, that self would not be seen but that only Christ's Character can show through!  We can never function properly alone, as hard as it may be for proud human being to admit!  Without Christ, we are broken fragments! Our heart is aching to be filled with a love that only Someone Who's heart has already been broken for ours, can truly satisfy! 

"God...will respect the broken heart, the confession of sins, the contrition of the soul.  The cry of the humble, broken heart He will not despise."

Heavenly Father, give me a TRULY broken heart for You, I pray!