True Love

There's a paradox I've come to think of recently on the topic of love.  It is this:  That many people with so called "loving relationships", such as friends, and family, can still be unhappy.  The deepest most wonderful relationships they have with one another can still leave them feeling unloved and un-fulfilled.  The other paradox, is that one who has been hurt and treated unlovingly and unfairly, can forgive, and still live a happy fulfilled life without necessarily having the advantage of being loved by other people.

The simple, and yet profound truth is that, no matter how perfect a human's love for you is - no matter how close you are - their love is not what fulfills you.  Human love is imperfect.  The closest human relationships - the most loving - are not truly loving apart from God's love.  Human love will disappoint.  Your best friends, your family, your spouse, those you love to spend your time with and those who have shown you love in the most tangible ways, will all disappoint you at one time or another.  Their love is imperfect.  Only God's love can truly fulfill us.

There is one relationship that will make all other relationships work, without which, every relationship will fall into mediocrity.  In our world today we see many examples of broken relationships, hurt, arguments, you name it.  Why?  Because of sin.  Yes, simply from sin.  Sin separates loved ones.  Selfishness is sin.  Selfishness leads to unhappy relationships.  The extent that you can experience healthy, loving relationships with others, is the extent that you are willing to be broken, and give up your selfishness.  The one relationship that makes relationships work, is having a deep relationship with God.  Every relationship has the potential for deeper love and fulfilment, by Christ becoming the center of that relationship.

Having said this, the simple truth is, no matter how close, how fulfilling a relationship is, it is imperfect.  Even a person who loves God cannot love you perfectly.  Their love for you only comes from God, if it comes from anything else, it is not true love, but infatuation.  Human love fails.  People make mistakes.  People fail.  People say unkind things.  Christians fall short of the glory of God, they don't always show us love.  So how do we love them?  The key is that when we are fulfilled in God's love for us, we won't be looking for the fulfillment of being loved by someone else.  God's love is the basis for how we can love others, even when they fail us.  So, what if the other person has treated you in very unloving way?  That is okay!  Because you are loved by Someone who is infinitely more loving than the person who is hurting you right now!  You are a child of God!

The beauty of God's love is that it is not based on our love for Him.  "Only by love is love awakened."  In our relationships with people, we can question, "Does that person really love me?  Will we still be friends, or was it just something that lasted temporarily?" or "Was that love or infatuation?"  With God, we will never have to question His love for us! 

Too often in my life and my relationships, I'm looking for the end result.  Where is this headed, are these relationships worth investing in?  In our walk with God, we know the end result!  If we accept His love, and live according to His law of love, we will live eternally with Him and rest in  His love!  "For I am persuaded that neither death nor life....no height nor depth nor any other creature shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."  Romans 8:38-39.  The only thing that can separate us from God's love is our choice to reject him.

In our relationships with others, we don't know the end result.  The only security we can have in our relationships with others, is as those relationships are Christ-centered, and draw us closer to Him!   So, here's how it works with our relationships with others, we don't wait to love the other person until we see if they love and care for us.  We give, and give, and share God's love, not because they love us, but because we love them.  We can only receive this type of love from God.  The natural heart only loves those who will love in return.  But Jesus said, "For if  ye love them which love you, what reward have ye?  For sinners also love those that love them."  (Matthew 5:46, Luke 6:32).  In a small group Bible study, one of the church members shared how they were discussing the same topic in church.  The question had come up, "How far do you go with this principle of loving your enemies?"  Is God asking us to love even those who have wronged us?  Would God go so far as to ask us to even love a murder?"  Truly only God can give us a love that is that forgiving, was the conclusion!  My mind went to a story of a woman who had been imprisoned for her faith in God.  Years later she went back and told him that she forgave him.  Only God could give that type of forgiveness!

Love isn't just a happy feeling.  Love is a principle that compels you to treat people in a way that God would have you treat them.  It spurs you to action.  You can't sit around saying oh I love this person I love this person, that gets you no where in any type of scenario!  Love expresses itself by deeds of kindness that you show to others.  If you wait for the perfect person to show kindness to, then your love is conditional.  What if I don't feel totally loving, do I still show love?  Yes.  Here is where I often struggle, I want my heart to be in something, I don't want to do it if my heart isn't in it.  But, even when you don't feel loving, still do it.  Show the act of kindness.  And as we do this we can pray that God will change our hearts, to truly love the person we are showing kindness to.  And God is totally able to do this!  He is in the business of changing hearts!  As you do right, and pray, God will change your heart.  Don't wait to feel that your heart is changed, go forward in faith that God is changing your attitude towards that unloving person!

True love loves because God loves.  True love doesn't love because it wants to be loved.  True love doesn't love because it is loved by another person.  True love loves because it is love.  God is love.  That is how God loves.  It is who He is, and when Christ is in our hearts, he will change us that we can love too.  True love can only love because it is loved by God.  We don't love others because they treat us nicely.  We love them because our hearts are overflowing with the love of God, and we just have to share it with someone else.  We love even the people who have hurt us the most, because that is what the One who gives us love would do!  Jesus, the source of love, said to those who hated him to the point of murdering him, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."  He is our example.

So my challenge to anyone who may read this, (and a challenge to myself as well), is simply to grow in God's love.  Grow in God's love to the point where others can't hurt you.  Yes, they may disappoint you, yes it may hurt that they did something unkind, but it doesn't have to get you down because your fulfillment comes in Someone's love that is so much deeper!  That Someone is Christ; Who gave Himself for sinners - sinners that didn't show love to Him!  That love enables, compels, and transforms.  It enables us to live our lives in a Christ-like way; It compels us to share it with those who don't understand His love; and it's this love that transforms our characters and fits us for Heaven!  Let God's love enable, compel and transform you today!