I get home from a long day at work.  My phone needs charged so I plug it in and then almost instinctively I turn it on...for what I'm not sure.  I'm not contacting my boyfriend because we're not boyfriend & girlfriend anymore.  I don't feel like talking to anyone, but I grab my phone anyways.  I read a few Bible promises and then open Facebook.  "There's nothing here on Facebook I even want to see!"  I say to myself.  And then it dawns on my at what I'm really doing.  I'm trying to find something to cope with the loneliness inside my heart.  I'm trying to keep myself busy to avoid the hurt and the questions.  I know I need something and I know that only God can fulfill that need, and yet I still grab my phone. I look to earthly friends to give me support when ultimately only God has the answer and only He can give peace.  I open Facebook and then remember how meaningless that is.  But the one thing that gives me hope is God and His Word.  I love the promise which says, "No good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly."  (Psalm 84:11). 

I don't know why I wasn't ready to get married.  I don't know exactly why our relationship took the turn for the worst the way it did.  I don't know exactly what God's plan is through all of this, or what my love life will look like from here on out, but one thing I know is that God will not withhold anything good from me.  God withhold from any of His children.  My moments of regrets, uncertainty of the future, questionings and loneliness remind me of where my true strength comes from.  My relationship life has shown me a deeper need for my dependence on God as my true source of love joy and fulfillment.

Romance, love, relationships, the dream job all sound great, but in the midst of my business sometimes I lacked the deeper connection with the Divine that now is giving me greater joy than any joy I had about planning my wedding.   I can't explain it.  And I can't help but wonder, how many times is our life less than God's ideal for us because because we're looking around instead of looking up to Christ for our light, hope, peace and fulfillment?  May you find perfect peace and fulfilment in Christ's love for you today!