There are some things you can't fully understand unless you just wait and let God work it out. There are some things that words just cannot express, you just have to experience it. And then there are those things that we will really not fully understand, or fully experience till heaven. But until then, I will use finite words, to paint an imperfect picture, of the understanding, the glimpse of heaven on this earth that I have been privileged to experience here!
"Let's pray", I said to Jaime, my outreach, partner as we drove to the meetings. "I think we should go straight to pick up our friend (a Bible study contact), and not call her first, we don't want to give her the opportunity to say no." We began praying and pleading for her, that God would take away the pain of her knee surgery, that the Holy Spirit would place in her a deeper desire to come to the meetings, and that we would have the right words to say. I claimed the promises such as "Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled." Matthew 5:6; and "So shall My Word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void...." Isaiah 55:11. In my heart there was another prayer in the back of my mind...let me explain.
You see this week my parents had been visiting from out of State and I hadn't had very much time to spend with them. Saturday night there would be a big family get-together (aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.) I told my parents, "I don't think I am going to be able to make it, I really want to be at the meetings." I am very blessed to have a family that while they value our family and love to spend time together, they value God more, and they wouldn't force me to choose them over anything else. But if that wasn't enough, Friday night, another family get together, a early Thanksgiving meal pops up. "I really wish you could come to this one", my mom said. That made it harder to say no. I didn't think I should choose family over the meetings, but I decided to pray about it one more time. As I began to pray for wisdom the impression came upon me, "Why are you praying that, you already know the answer? You need to be there to pick up Mrs. M, and be there for her!" The words of Jesus flooded into my mind, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother....yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26. The word hate there means to love less. Do I love Jesus and His work more than the closest family in my life? My decision was made!
And so my prayer was, "Lord you know I have chosen this over spending time with my family, I've made this sacrifice, please reward me and help Mrs. M, to come!" Then I was slightly rebuked as I thought, "I cannot merit anything, Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice, he died for her! I am to claim HIS merits, He desires her to come more than I ever could!!"
Mrs. M. decided to venture out! Her first outing other than physical therapy since her knee replacement! I couldn't keep my joy in! I wondered if people were looking at me funny, I just couldn't keep a straight face, I was smiling the whole meeting! I honestly hadn't felt such joy since my baptism. Sacrifice? Really?? She said she enjoyed the meetings, and that the speaker seemed like a really nice man.
All of the sudden, I realized how perfect the timing had been. It reflected on where I was in life, God is asking me to seek my fulfillment, my ultimate joy, in His service. Whether it means being separated from my family because of mission/ministry work, or any unknown struggle I may find in the future! As I look ahead, at the bright future, college, life, dreams, God wants my heart, He wants me to find a family in the church family, He wants His heart and His service to be what fills my heart! He loves me more than anyone else can ever! He can fill me with more joy than anyone or anything else this world could EVER offer!
As I think back over the evening, and the joy that the Lord filled me with, I have to ask myself the question, Can life get any better than this? If there is one thing I have learned in the past few years, it is that the most fulfillment I have ever found in my life is through serving my beloved Savior!!
I may never fully understand His purposes, why some people come to the meetings, why others do not, why God asks us to give up things, why God asks us to give up all. But one thing I can know, God knows the best, and He needs my heart, He needs me to surrender all to Him so I can be used by Him. And no matter how much joy even if it be joy in suffering here on this earth that I experience, there will be so much more depths of His love to plunge into for all of eternity!!
But there's more to the story....life continues here on earth while we wait and work until heaven.....
So anther busy week starts, before I know it it's Tuesday - the day I go canvassing. Last week I had chosen canvassing over spending time with my family, and I hadn't sold any books. I woke up with a prayer on my lips, "Lord you will have to help me accomplish a lot today, I have lots of homework, but I can't miss canvassing, and I know this is your work, the best work, so please prepare the hearts of the people I am going to be meeting tonight, I will work for You, the results are up to You!"
The two hours I had for homework, went very fast, as I poured over a book, I have two days to finish reading before the book report is due, the clock chimed 4, before I knew it I was running to work. I usually never set goals, and books is my focus not money, but today I thought, "Wouldn't be a blessing if I earned $100 working today? I know God cold do it through generous donations!"
The evening was a blessing-3 hours or canvassing and door knocking, and the result? I can't even keep track of all the stories, a lady buys a Great Controversy (for her son who likes history!) and I give her a God's Answers too. A lady gives me $10 for no books, an Adventist Professor buys a book for $20 to help me out, someone buys a cookbook for $30, a college student buys a God's Answers. So the evening ended, with 6 books being sold! Now, I have canvassed for 3 years now, and there are whole days you work without selling 6 books. As I counted up the money, it totaled $117! What a blessing!! God truly knows how to reward us!
God is so faithful! I don't deserve it! I didn't do anything to earn His blessings.... but, He just keeps pouring them out upon me! His mercies are knew every morning, "great is Thy faithfulness". Lamentations 3:23 He says: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33. And "Them that honor me I will honor." 1 Samuel 2:30. The Lord is faithful, He keeps His promises!! What a wonderful God we serve!
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