As I began to pen the words in my prayer journal, I stopped. I had been praying, "Lord, teach me how to really surrender to You". At that moment, I suddenly realized how hard it was for me to really surrender that thing to God. "Lord, I don't know what to do in this situation, please give me wisdom, please show me what to do, please help me...." but that wasn't the prayer God wanted me to pray for this situation, the prayer He was asking me to pray was, "Father, I surrender this one totally to You!"
There are times in our lives when God brings us to situations that we can't control, we feel totally helpless to bring about an outcome. Nothing we can do works. It's a dead end street! It's that feeling of utter helplessness, "I can't handle this one God!"
And so I was left with a decision, I could either give it totally to God or.....what else could I do?
I'm the type of person who likes to solve problems, who loves a challenge. I want to be able to figure people out, situations, questions. But this one I couldn't, period. I wanted to ask God to show me what "to do" about it; what a self-centered, self-sufficient, un-surrendered prayer! "Just give me the map, the plan!" "Give me the directions Lord, I'll make this work out!" "Or, I'll just give up. I don't have to have a good attitude about this, I don't have to be nice, I'll just avoid the situation!" Perfect fix, right? When you can't do anything to change it, when you can't control it, when it's not working out how you think it should, just avoid it, let down any expectations you have. Forget about it!
But is that true surrender? No. Neither scenario is surrender. You see surrender isn't a "yes", nor is it a "no". It's not always God saying, "Here's what I want you to do, even though you don't want to do it". Nor is it always, "Here's what to avoid, here's what to give up." Too often I have viewed surrender as giving up something, as saying "No", "I'm giving this up for God." But I think surrender is deeper than that, I think it's harder than that, it penetrates from our heart...really from the heart of God!
You see, giving up things is something we can do in our own strength. It's almost a works orientated religion, "I'll give this to you and this and this." 1 Corinthians 13:3 says: "And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing." The ultimate sacrifice, giving our bodies to be burned; Wow! that's surrender, right? And yet the Word of God says, "It will profit you nothing."
God requires obedience not sacrifice. But then we must find out, what does he require of us? What does His commandment say? "This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you." John 15:12
Simple. Deep. Difficult! Love - true love! In every situation, whether difficult or easy, whether you feel like it or not. That's surrender. Being willing to say, "Lord, I trust you". "Lord, I give the outcome of these situations to You. I'm not out there for what I can gain, I'm just going to have to live by your law and love no matter what happens."
Surrender. Being willing to leave the results to God. Not having an opinion in a given situation. Not having a hidden agenda beneath the surface. Not trying to work out your own problems. Not giving up when things aren't working out the way you think they should. Waiting on God's timing. Letting God lead in your life. Loving when you don't feel like it, loving when you don't see the benefits, loving without any hidden motives, loving when it doesn't come naturally, loving even when it hurts, loving like Jesus when you don't see why you should....That's surrender!
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