11:30 p.m.  "I am never doing this again!  My brain is dead!"  I said to myself!  I had been up since 6 in the morning, left campus for outreach classes and door knocking at 8:30 and then didn't get back till 8pm!  It had been way too long of a day for me!

The first two weeks of classes were pretty easy.  I could wrap my mind around the homework and I was just all excited about the opportunity to learn again, make new friends, etc.  It was a little like the honeymoon experience after you have made a commitment to something new.  But yesterday it really hit me...the rubber met the road.  I hadn't studied for my quiz, I hadn't done all the reading I was supposed to for classes, the enjoyable weekend had threw me off.  I wrote out all my homework for the next day of class on my daily planner and wondered how I would finish it all!

There was a paper due for the next day, "I guess I'll start writing it now, I can finish it tomorrow morning".  (It was an easy paper, not an essay.)  As I downloaded the instructions for the assignment off eclass, I realized it was due that night in just three hours-not tomorrow!  I began to write away, and to my dismay didn't get to bed till 11:30!  That is totally against everything I have been taught-every right principle, against what my body needs, against my college resolutions! "I can't do this to myself again", I thought, as I went to sleep!  I was too tired to be stressed out, and I was sure I would get a decent grade on that assignment; but my thoughts rolled to homework. "How am I really going to be able to keep up with all these assignments this semester?  I have other things to do to! There's outreach, the new Bible study contacts, my new job teaching violin lessons, and the small group Bible study I will be starting soon.  Something is going to have to go....Do I just pick a class to get a C in and skip some assignments?  Do I try hard to manage my time better?  Do I cut out social time and take less time eating?  Going to bed late is just not an option....And neither is stress I need a battle plan!!"

This morning as I woke up I decided to do Scripturetyper (a website for memorizing and reviewing Bible verses by typing them), for my devotions to keep my Bible memory up to par.  Before I started I prayed, "Lord I don't want to just type these from memory please speak to me through your word what I need to hear."

2 Chronicles 20:17 "Ye shall not need to fight in this battle set yourselves stand ye still and see the salvation of the Lord with you; O Judah and Jerusalem fear not nor be dismayed to morrow go out against them for the Lord will be with you, for the battle is not yours but God's."

It was a beautiful reminder, a gentle rebuke to me that what I am facing:-the battle to keep above drowning in homework...the battle to keep a balanced life and remember that relationships are more important than grades...the battle to come higher in my walk with Jesus this semester and put him and sharing him first before my own responsibilities-all of this is not my battle it is the Lord's.  I know God brought me here, and he is saying "Don't be dismayed Leah, don't worry this is My responsibility, I will fight your battles for you!" What a beautiful assurance!!

The amazing thing is God didn't even tell them "Get up go fight right now, here's how your battle plan, I'll be with you."  That would be my picture of working with God- do it immediately, and yes he'll be with you but you've really got to still fight hard!  But that isn't the picture here!  Instead it's a picture of rest "stand still", see the salvation of the Lord.  It's not about seeing the salvation of Leah, the good grades, etc.  No God is calling me to stand still.  And he said "Tomorrow go out against them."  Why tomorrow?  All I can say is that God's timing is perfect and when he says tomorrow not today that is what he means.  It reminds me of the story of the disciples after Jesus went back to heaven, He had told them to tarry at Jerusalem until the Holy Spirit comes upon you.  Now you would think to just go out there and evangelize the world, I mean how exciting Jesus had rose again!  Let's get the boll rolling, right?  But no again in scripture there was a pause, a demand in fact to pause and pray and wait for the Holy Spirit.

I have to ask my self "Am I standing still enough to really see the salvation of the Lord?  Am I taking a significant amount of time to pray and let the Holy Spirit come into my life each morning before I hurry off to breakfast, and finish a few assignments before starting class at 8:30?"

Life will never "calm down".  College is a great place for me to learn how to prioritize.  My prayer is "Lord help me to remember to be still and know that you are God!  Remind me to stand still and see your salvation!  Thank you that this semester is yours, that you have a plan for me.  Thank you for bringing me here and teaching me to depend upon You and not my own strength!  I give You permission to take over my life!  Thank you!  Amen"