Life

The sheet of paper is blank, and so is my life.  A page waiting to be filled, a story waiting to be written, where will I go, what will the story look like?  A new life was born today my sweet little cousin, Emily.  A life begins, someone else’s life ends.  “Whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow.  For what is your life?  It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” - James 4:14.  The wise man said it well when he penned the words: “Vanity, vanity, saith the preacher, all is vanity.” - Ecclesiastes 12:8

Why am I awake?  I should be sleeping soundly in preparation for tomorrow…a day of school, and work: classes, homework, canvassing, exercise…the normal life, not busy enough for my liking, nothing overly exciting, and yet not all predictable, nor all known successes.

My mind whirls, looks ahead at my life…the possible options ahead.  The realization strikes me, I really need Jesus!  The urge to be in control leaves me feeling frustrated, with the realization that I can’t control my life!

Who are the friends who I can pour my heart out to?  What is going to keep me busy this semester?  What are the jobs God has for me?  What am I going to do with my time?  Who are the people that God wants me to reach out to on this campus?  Wait, Am I trying to find my fulfillment in people?  In my accomplishments or successes? Am I looking for security in a well laid predictable plan for my life?

As I look into the future, I can’t see myself doing ultimately what my dream is for my life any time soon…it would take a miracle, it would have to be something that God worked out for me.  So I ask myself, do I lack faith?  Am I just not seeing how God is preparing me for the future, and how He is leading me right now?  Or is it just not close at all to the time for those dreams to blossom?  And are they really God’s dreams for me or just my own?

I see a common thread in my contemplation this evening, it’s all about me.  What can I do to fill my time, what can I do to help other people, what would make me happy, what do I want for my future? 

But I don’t like the self who I am…I see my flaws, I see how self-centered, and self-reliant I have been.  I don’t want to be this way, I pray!  The beauty of it is that Jesus does not see me for who I am, He sees me for who I can become.  In light of my current thoughts, the responsibility I have to bear as His child, the work of being His ambassador to the world, it seems to good to be true that God would trust me with that!  God does not compare me to my classmates, my best friends, or to my parents.  He looks at me as an individual. He has a path for my feet.  I am thankful for the beautiful promise that God is there for me whenever I call Him, where ever I am!  "Then shalt thou call, and the Lord shall answer; thou shalt cry, and He shall say, Here I am." - Isaiah 58:9, and "There shall not any man be able to stand before thee all the days of thy life:"  "Have not I commanded thee be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." - Joshua 1:5, 9

A definition of life floods into my mind…"And this is life eternal that they may know Thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent.” - John 17:3  “I am come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly." - John 10:10.  I like those definitions of life!  God’s Word is my comfort, knowing God is true life, and peace – heaven can begin here on this earth, right where I am at, even when I don’t know the future!  I can trust the One Who came to give me life more abundantly!

"Thank you God that You are the source of true life!  Thank You that You have a plan for my life!  May I be in tune with You that I may know where You are leading me, and most importantly, transform my selfish heart into Your likeness, and make me the person you want me to be!  Amen."