Spreading Christmas Cheer

Christmas break…the perfect time to be out spreading Christmas cheer through canvassing the most valuable message books!  This Christmas break I spent canvassing near Pine Bluff Arkansas.  It was the best thing I could have ever done!  Here are just a few of my favorite experiences from the past three days, enjoy!

Sunday, my first day canvassing, I was a little surprised to be dropped off at a mall in down town Little Rock (among sky scrapers) to start the day off!  I was not scared, though a little unsure of myself, but up for a new experience and perhaps a challenge.  The first lady I spoke to me told me that Dillard's policy was no soliciting. I graciously thanked her and went to the rest of the mall. It was somewhat uneventful until I found myself back in Dillard's - a different floor. I figured since I was on a different floor - no worries about being kicked out.  I saw a cashier who didn't look busy at all.  I went and greeted her and started talking with her and canvassing her on the books.  She told me that she was looking for a church.  As I canvassed her, I felt impressed to pray that money wouldn't be an issue for her, and so I silently prayed as I canvassed her.  She was interested in the Desire of Ages and went to look in her wallet.  She came back with $10.  "I was sure I only had $5" she said, "but I found another $5 bill rolled up in my wallet."  She signed up for correspondence Bible studies as I left.  I like to think that God put the other $5 bill in her purse, although I have no way of knowing.

My next place to work was an apartment building - twelve stories high!  The door was locked, but I didn't have much time to wonder how I was going to get in as a lady sitting in the lobby came and let me in.  "Thank you!" I said.  "You are welcome, it doesn't hurt to do a kind deed in a day!" She replied.  I canvassed her, as I began she said, "I read the Bible every day, that is the only thing that enables me to live in this world the way it is today!"  I told her about the Great Controversy and highly recommended it, so we went up to her apartment room where she bought the book.  What perfect timing God has!

As I walked down the street, nearing an old white house that looked abandoned, I saw a pick up truck pull into the drive was and drive back past where I could see. I'm going to go and talk to whoever is back there, I decided as I continued to walk.  When I got back I found that it was three Hispanic guys. They lived in a dumpy trailer house, the yard scattered with empty beer bottles and cans.  I started talking to the one man, but he couldn't understand English; his friend could though.  I told him that I could get Peace Above the Storm in Spanish. "How soon?"  he asked me.  I could get it right now, I replied.  He started talking to his friend in Spanish as he continued flipping through the book for what seemed like a long time, since I couldn't tell what he was saying.  "I'll take two of them" he finally told me.  I called my leader over the radio and the man bought two books for $20!  Another experience with the perfect timing!  I want to learn Spanish, but I'm thankful that my lack thereof didn't keep me from selling not one, but two books to them!  I hope that they will read them and find true peace!

Before I knew it, it was Christmas Eve.  I wondered what it would be like canvassing on that day.  In the small town we went to, there was a church that had a Christmas Eve service at 6 pm.  It was 5 pm, and I was dropped off on a street.  The first lady I talked to bought a Peace Above the Storm. At the next door a lady bought a Lessons of Love.  In a 20 or 30 minutes, 4 books went out on that street!

Another favorite experience was when I canvassed a younger man on the Desire of Ages (among other books).  It has a picture of Jesus on the front.  When I closed him he said "I'll take this one, (the Desire of Ages) I need Jesus".  How beautiful when people see their true need - Jesus - the only one who can satisfy!

I love Christmas lights, I love Christmas, I love the beauty of the season.  I had just been dropped offed at a trailer home that had a fence around it.  It was covered in beautiful Christmas lights, even the fence and gate was beautifully colored with lights.  "Whoever lives in that house must be cheerful," my canvassing leader remarked.  I was surprised by who I saw come out of the door.  He was an older man with some tattoos, a big mustache and beard.  I could tell he had a kind heart, as I closed him on the books he said, "I don’t have any money, I am a contractor, and there is no work this time of the year.  I don’t even have enough money to buy a Christmas gift for my mother."  He hung his head, "Let's not go there."  All of a sudden an idea came to my mind!  "Does your mom read?"  I asked him.  "Yes, she reads the Bible" he answered.  I pulled out Peace Above the Storm and handed it to him.  "Here, give this to your mom for Christmas, it has large print, and it is a beautiful book, I'm sure she will enjoy it!"  It looked like a tear was  coming into his eyes as I left, all he could say was "Oh, thank you!"

Our van totaled 62 books that day, God blessed me with 13 books.  Some were sold for full price, some for less, a few were given away.  There was the lady on oxygen who bought a Peace Above the Storm, the man in the gas station who bought a Great Controversy, the waitress in a Café who bought a My Friend Jesus for her little son and daughter, and many other I can't remember the details to.  But by far my favorite experience was this one.   Being able to warm the heart of someone who otherwise, was somewhat discouraged in the holiday season!  Bring cheer to someone who looked cheery from the outside Christmas lights, that cheered me!  It truly is more blessed to give then to receive!

Broken Hearts

How do you define heart break?  A dictionary definition defines it as "Devastating sorrow and despair!"  Pain is something I don't like, the idea of being broken just doesn't sound comfortable.  I want to be competent, successful, happy, you feel in the blank, ANYTHING but hurt, broken, empty....

I recently found these paragraphs regarding a broken heart:

"Jesus gazes upon the scene, and the vast multitude hush their shouts, spellbound by the sudden vision of beauty. All eyes turn upon the Saviour, expecting to see in His countenance the admiration they themselves feel. But instead of this they behold a cloud of sorrow. They are surprised and disappointed to see His eyes fill with tears, and His body rock to and fro like a tree before the tempest, while a wail of anguish bursts from His quivering lips, as if from the depths of a broken heart. What a sight was this for angels to behold! their loved Commander in an agony of tears! What a sight was this for the glad throng that with shouts of triumph and the waving of palm branches were escorting Him to the glorious city, where they fondly hoped He was about to reign! Jesus had wept at the grave of Lazarus, but it was in a godlike grief in sympathy with human woe. But this sudden sorrow was like a note of wailing in a grand triumphal chorus. In the midst of a scene of rejoicing, where all were paying Him homage, Israel’s King was in tears; not silent tears of gladness, but tears and groans of insuppressible agony. The multitude were struck with a sudden gloom. Their acclamations were silenced. Many wept in sympathy with a grief they could not comprehend." DA 575.3

"The tears of Jesus were not in anticipation of His own suffering. Just before Him was Gethsemane, where soon the horror of a great darkness would overshadow Him. The sheepgate also was in sight, through which for centuries the beasts for sacrificial offerings had been led. This gate was soon to open for Him, the great Antitype, toward whose sacrifice for the sins of the world all these offerings had pointed. Near by was Calvary, the scene of His approaching agony. Yet it was not because of these reminders of His cruel death that the Redeemer wept and groaned in anguish of spirit. His was no selfish sorrow. The thought of His own agony did not intimidate that noble, self-sacrificing soul. It was the sight of Jerusalem that pierced the heart of Jesus—Jerusalem that had rejected the Son of God and scorned His love, that refused to be convinced by His mighty miracles, and was about to take His life. He saw what she was in her guilt of rejecting her Redeemer, and what she might have been had she accepted Him who alone could heal her wound. He had come to save her; how could He give her up?" DA 576.1

What really struck me as I read this is that Jesus' tears were NOT in anticipation of His own suffering, not for the separation from is Father or for the cruel death He was about to endure!  Just let that sink in...I had to!  What unselfishness!  What love!  For all the times I've been afraid of being hurt, afraid of pain, for all the times I've complained to God and said "I can't take this", and yet look at the example He has set for me!

What breaks my heart?  What do I weep over?  Where are my affections?  How often am I upset over selfish reason?  I find myself so self-centered and focused on what pleases me.  What about the souls whom Christ died for?  What about those who have never heard the name Jesus before?  What about the children starving in other countries, while I have more than enough?  Should not my heart ache for those souls?  Should not my heart throb in unison with my Savior who desires that none should perish, but that all should come to repentance?

My mind goes back several weeks ago, as I was sitting in class.  We had a guest speaker speaking, his topic was world religions.  I set enthrolled, learning of religions I knew little about.  As I heard about those who believe that life=suffering, that we are reincarnated, and the whole purpose of life is to never live again, but to die and be at peace, my heart felt something I have never felt to that extent before!  An aching for those who know nothing of Jesus' love, a burden for the unreached.  I started crying and couldn't stop till I was alone in prayer after class.  I wish I could say that has been the only thing I have cried over this semester!  I wish I could say this was more common, but sadly it isn't.

How often does loneliness, separation, or broken hopes, make us feel broken-hearted?  And yet, Jesus was willing to go through separation, the cruelest death ever, but what broke his heart was the thought that maybe His sacrifice would not be accepted and would not break my stubborn heart!  The chosen nation He had poured so much into was rejecting Him, His CLOSEST friends, betrayed Him, but HE DIDN'T give up.  He knew not if His hope that souls would be eternally saved, would come to pass, He couldn't see past the tomb.  FOREVER separtated from the love of His Heavenly Father, from the place where He was loved appreciated, accepted, worshiped, adored.  AND YET, He was willing to take the risk, for me....for you!  Even though He didn't KNOW we would accept!  What love is this!

What a rebuke to me when I wonder why I invest in friendships, why I need to live in vulnerability, why I need to be a part of community, why I need to love with no ulterior motives.  My heart is so proud!  How hard-hearted I am!

I found these definitions to the word "broken" particularly interesting: "Reduced to fragments, not functioning properly."  Ironically, that is just what God desires of us - that we be reduced to fragments, that self would not be seen but that only Christ's Character can show through!  We can never function properly alone, as hard as it may be for proud human being to admit!  Without Christ, we are broken fragments! Our heart is aching to be filled with a love that only Someone Who's heart has already been broken for ours, can truly satisfy! 

"God...will respect the broken heart, the confession of sins, the contrition of the soul.  The cry of the humble, broken heart He will not despise."

Heavenly Father, give me a TRULY broken heart for You, I pray!

I love how God ties everything together, and gives us just the message we need to here when we need to hear it!  I had that twice today!  Once in morning prayer group, and once in worship this evening.  Even sang the same song (with a different group of people)!  When I hear something once that I know is from God, I go "Yes, that is good!  Thank you Lord!"  But I guess some of us need to hear things twice to really get the message and take it to heart! So when I hear the same thing twice I think, "Wow!  I need to really DO something about that!" All of the sudden the things I am holding on to pale in comparison to the message of peace God is offering me!

The topic was about how God gives us peace and He doesn't want us to be anxious.  To know God is to know peace, no God=no peace.  God truly wants me to trust him-in fact, He is willing to help me trust Him - to teach me how to trust!  If He cares for the birds, the grass and the flowers, I know he cares for every little thing that concerns me!  What a wonderful Heavenly Father I have!  What helped me is to fill in the blank, I may not be worrying about food or clothes, but to put my own worries, my own perplexities into it made it more personal.  And then to think that those are all the things that the Gentiles seek after!  Mercy!  Where is my heart? Why do I worry about the things I do?  What keeps me from trusting God more fully?

Could it be that I want to be in control?  I want to be the one to know what my future is going to hold, what decisions to make next, etc., etc.  The verse "seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you" took on new meaning to me.  Am I seeking God and His kingdom first, or am I seeking to satisfy myself?

May we each truly seek God and follow the true peace-Giver!

True Surrender

As I began to pen the words in my prayer journal, I stopped.  I had been praying, "Lord, teach me how to really surrender to You".  At that moment, I suddenly realized how hard it was for me to really surrender that thing to God.  "Lord, I don't know what to do in this situation, please give me wisdom, please show me what to do, please help me...." but that wasn't the prayer God wanted me to pray for this situation, the prayer He was asking me to pray was, "Father, I surrender this one totally to You!"

There are times in our lives when God brings us to situations that we can't control, we feel totally helpless to bring about an outcome.  Nothing we can do works.  It's a dead end street!  It's that feeling of utter helplessness, "I can't handle this one God!"

And so I was left with a decision, I could either give it totally to God or.....what else could I do?

I'm the type of person who likes to solve problems, who loves a challenge.  I want to be able to figure people out, situations, questions.  But this one I couldn't, period.  I wanted to ask God to show me what "to do" about it; what a self-centered, self-sufficient, un-surrendered prayer!  "Just give me the map, the plan!"  "Give me the directions Lord, I'll make this work out!"  "Or, I'll just give up.  I don't have to have a good attitude about this, I don't have to be nice, I'll just avoid the situation!"  Perfect fix, right?  When you can't do anything to change it, when you can't control it, when it's not working out how you think it should, just avoid it, let down any expectations you have.  Forget about it!

But is that true surrender?   No.  Neither scenario is surrender.  You see surrender isn't a "yes", nor is it a "no".  It's not always God saying, "Here's what I want you to do, even  though you don't want to do it".  Nor is it always, "Here's what to avoid, here's what to give up."  Too often I have viewed surrender as giving up something, as saying "No", "I'm giving this up for God."  But I think surrender is deeper than that, I think it's harder than that, it penetrates from our heart...really from the heart of God!

You see, giving up things is something we can do in our own strength. It's almost a works orientated religion, "I'll give this to you and this and this."         1 Corinthians 13:3 says: "And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing."  The ultimate sacrifice, giving our bodies to be burned; Wow! that's surrender, right?  And yet the Word of God says, "It will profit you nothing."

God requires obedience not sacrifice.  But then we must find out, what does he require of us?  What does His commandment say?  "This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you."  John 15:12

Simple.  Deep.  Difficult!  Love - true love!  In every situation, whether difficult or easy, whether you feel like it or not.  That's surrender.  Being willing to say, "Lord, I trust you".  "Lord, I give the outcome of these situations to You.  I'm not out there for what I can gain, I'm just going to have to live by your law and love no matter what happens."

Surrender.  Being willing to leave the results to God.  Not having an opinion in a given situation.  Not having a hidden agenda beneath the surface.  Not trying to work out your own problems.  Not giving up when things aren't working out the way you think they should.  Waiting on God's timing.  Letting God lead in your life.  Loving when you don't feel like it, loving when you don't see the benefits, loving without any hidden motives, loving when it doesn't come naturally, loving even when it hurts, loving like Jesus when you don't see why you should....That's surrender!

Waiting for God's Timing

"The Lord is good unto them that wait for Him to the soul that seeketh Him.  It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord."  
-Lamentations 3:25-26

Waiting....Not something I like to have to do.  Imagine you are standing at the back of a long row of people waiting for the checkout lane in the local grocery story.  Or maybe you are running late to an appointment, and you get caught in a traffic jam.  Patience! There's a reason it's called a virtue!  While these little examples can put a grin on our faces for those of us who have experienced them, what about the big things?  There's life decisions - decisions that affect your future life, happiness, and well-being, in short, the direction of your life.

I remember waiting to go to college, it seemed like the time would never be right!  If I would have started college at the time when I wanted to (and thought I was ready) I would be a Junior by now, but I would have missed out on the plan that God had for me all along!

There are greater things than what I've mentioned.  What about waiting for heaven?  We all long for something better, to be reunited with love ones who have passed away, to live eternally where there will never be any pain, and to have all our tears will be wiped a way. Most of all, we long to see our Redeemer, the Savior who is our best Friend and to be able to cast our crowns at His feet saying, "He died for me!"  Patience, waiting....

"The Lord is good to them that wait for Him...."  The interesting thing I find in this verse is that it says we should wait for the salvation of the Lord.  Don't we all have salvation already?  Colossians 1:13&14 speaking of our Heavenly Father says, "Who hath delivered us from the power of darkness and has translated us into the kingdom of His dear Son.  In whom we have redemption through His blood even the forgiveness of sins."  "Hath delivered" = past tense.  "We have redemption" = present tense.  So what are we to make of this?  Why do we have to wait for our salvation when we are already saved?

Let me give you some examples of the omniscient God we serve.  First of all, He told Jeremiah, "Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I anointed you as a prophet to the nations."  Jeremiah 1:5.  Just as assuredly as God knew Jeremiah, and had a plan for his life, He knows each of us!  You see, before I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up, before I knew how to study the Bible, God had already planned where I would go through the SALT program (school of Evangelism at Southern).  Before my mom planned on helping out with an evangelistic series over twenty years ago, God had already planned for my dad to be there so they could meet each other.  Before my dad ever felt called to ministry, God already knew what conference president would hire him.

Could it be that although God give us the promise of salvation now, we are still waiting for the ultimate fulfillment?  Maybe God is trying to tell us that we can have perfect rest, assurance, joy, and peace as we wait on His perfect timing to reveal His salvation in our lives.  But notice here, it's not that we don't have an answer, it's just that we are not yet ready to receive His answers!  He says that we can be "confident of this very thing that He which hath begun a good work in you shall perform it unto the day of Jesus Christ."  Philippians 1:6

You see, everything in our lives is predicted by God, nothing slips the notice of His eyes.  Our future is not something vague. We are not left to wander around through life without a map, without a plan.  The answer to our prayer is not something far-off in the distance. Praying and waiting on God isn't some mythical formula; it is predictable, it's something-Someone- that we can stake our future, our entire lives upon!!  It's just a matter of timing.  "He hath made every thing beautiful in his time...."  Ecclesiastes 3:11.  How beautiful!  What a God we serve!   We have Someone who knows when we are ready for the ultimate fulfillment of His promises.  He knows when we are ready for each of the new steps we have to take in life. Where I would push ahead, he holds me back and whispers "wait", where I would be afraid to plunge forward and work for Him, He says "trust me, you can do all things through My strength."

I am reminded of a story in the Bible where Daniel was given a vision regarding what would take place in the future.  The vision made him sick, because he did not know what the interpretation was.  Daniel had been fasting and praying. He says "while I was speaking in prayer, even the man Gabriel....touched me about the time of the evening oblation.  And he informed me, and talked with me, and said O Daniel, I am now come forth to give thee skill and understanding.  At the beginning of thy supplications the commandment came forth, and I am come to shew thee; for thou art greatly beloved: therefore understand the matter, and consider the vision."  Daniel 9:21-23  From the very beginning of Daniel's prayer, the angel Gabriel had been sent forth to answer his prayer and give him wisdom and understanding!

Whatever you are waiting for in your life, whatever you are praying for now, know that we serve a God who cares!  Each of us is a beloved child of God, as much as Daniel was.  He says to us "The Lord hath appeared of old unto me saying, yea I have loved you with an everlasting love, therefore with loving-kindness have I drawn thee."  Jeremiah 31:3.  We are given such beautiful promises from the Word of God!  He tells us:  "And it shall come to pass, that before they call, I will answer; and while they are yet speaking, I will hear."  Isaiah 65:24.  "And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying this is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.  Isaiah 30:21

God is the Creator, our Master Designer, He has the blueprint for our lives, and all He is waiting is for us to do is give him the paint brush!!

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  

-Jeremiah 29:11

God is Faithful!!

There are some things you can't fully understand unless you just wait and let God work it out.  There are some things that words just cannot express, you just have to experience it.  And then there are those things that we will really not fully understand, or fully experience till heaven.  But until then, I will use finite words, to paint an imperfect picture, of the understanding, the glimpse of heaven on this earth that I have been privileged to experience here!

"Let's pray", I said to Jaime, my outreach, partner as we drove to the meetings.  "I think we should go straight to pick up our friend (a Bible study contact), and not call her first, we don't want to give her the opportunity to say no." We began praying and pleading for her, that God would take away the pain of her knee surgery, that the Holy Spirit would place in her a deeper desire to come to the meetings, and that we would have the right words to say.  I claimed the promises such as "Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled."  Matthew 5:6;  and "So shall My Word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void...."  Isaiah 55:11. In my heart there was another prayer in the back of my mind...let me explain.

You see this week my parents had been visiting from out of State and I hadn't had very much time to spend with them.  Saturday night there would be a big family get-together (aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.)  I told my parents, "I don't think I am going to be able to make it, I really want to be at the meetings."  I am very blessed to have a family that while they value our family and love to spend time together, they value God more, and they wouldn't force me to choose them over anything else.  But if that wasn't enough, Friday night, another family get together, a early Thanksgiving meal pops up.  "I really wish you could come to this one", my mom said.  That made it harder to say no.  I didn't think I should choose family over the meetings, but I decided to pray about it one more time.  As I began to pray for wisdom the impression came upon me, "Why are you praying that, you already know the answer?  You need to be there to pick up Mrs. M, and be there for her!"  The words of Jesus flooded into my mind, "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother....yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."  Luke 14:26.  The word hate there means to love less.  Do I love Jesus and His work more than the closest family in my life?  My decision was made!

And so my prayer was, "Lord you know I have chosen this over spending time with my family, I've made this sacrifice, please reward me and help Mrs. M, to come!"  Then I was slightly rebuked as I thought, "I cannot merit anything, Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice, he died for her!  I am to claim HIS merits, He desires her to come more than I ever could!!"

Mrs. M. decided to venture out!  Her first outing other than physical therapy since her knee replacement!  I couldn't keep my joy in!  I wondered if people were looking at me funny, I just couldn't keep a straight face, I was smiling the whole meeting!  I honestly hadn't felt such joy since my baptism.  Sacrifice?  Really??  She said she enjoyed the meetings, and that the speaker seemed like a really nice man.

All of the sudden, I realized how perfect the timing had been.  It reflected on where I was in life, God is asking me to seek my fulfillment, my ultimate joy, in His service.  Whether it means being separated from my family because of mission/ministry work, or any unknown struggle I may find in the future!  As I look ahead, at the bright future, college, life, dreams, God wants my heart, He wants me to find a family in the church family, He wants His heart and His service to be what fills my heart!  He loves me more than anyone else can ever!  He can fill me with more joy than anyone or anything else this world could EVER offer!

As I think back over the evening, and the joy that the Lord filled me with, I have to ask myself the question, Can life get any better than this?  If there is one thing I have learned in the past few years, it is that the most fulfillment I have ever found in my life is through serving my beloved Savior!!

I may never fully understand His purposes, why some people come to the meetings, why others do not, why God asks us to give up things, why God asks us to give up all.  But one thing I can know, God knows the best, and He needs my heart, He needs me to surrender all to Him so I can be used by Him.  And no matter how much joy even if it be joy in suffering here on this earth that I experience, there will be so much more depths of His love to plunge into for all of eternity!!

But there's more to the story....life continues here on earth while we wait and work until heaven.....

So anther busy week starts, before I know it it's Tuesday - the day I go canvassing.  Last week I had chosen canvassing over spending time with my family, and I hadn't sold any books.  I woke up with a prayer on my lips, "Lord you will have to help me accomplish a lot today, I have lots of homework, but I can't miss canvassing, and I know this is your work, the best work, so please prepare the hearts of the people I am going to be meeting tonight, I will work for You, the results are up to You!"

The two hours I had for homework, went very fast, as I poured over a book, I have two days to finish reading before the book report is due, the clock chimed 4, before I knew it I was running to work.  I usually never set goals, and books is my focus not money, but today I thought, "Wouldn't be a blessing if I earned $100 working today?  I know God cold do it through generous donations!"

The evening was a blessing-3 hours or canvassing and door knocking, and the result?  I can't even keep track of all the stories, a lady buys a Great Controversy (for her son who likes history!) and I give her a God's Answers too.  A lady gives me $10 for no books, an Adventist Professor buys a book for $20 to help me out, someone buys a cookbook for $30, a college student buys a God's Answers.  So the evening ended, with 6 books being sold!  Now, I have canvassed for 3 years now, and there are whole days you work without selling 6 books.  As I counted up the money, it totaled $117!  What a blessing!!  God truly knows how to reward us!

God is so faithful!  I don't deserve it!  I didn't do anything to earn His blessings.... but, He just keeps pouring them out upon me!  His mercies are knew every morning, "great is Thy faithfulness". Lamentations 3:23  He says: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33.  And "Them that honor me I will honor." 1 Samuel 2:30.  The Lord is faithful, He keeps His promises!!  What a wonderful God we serve!

When We Give Our All

Oh what do we give up when we give him our all?
Oh what do we lose when we surrender to Him?

Oh what do we have to gain when seeking to satisfy ourselves?  Shall we not turn from our broken cisterns to the fountain that flows pure and free?

Oh what can we give in exchange for our souls?  Can the treasures of this life compare with eternities?

Oh what do we have to fear, oh where is the pain in letting Christ guide? His plans for us our good, His peace flows as a river.

Oh what do we fear and why do we wait to give Him our all?

Our hearts desires, our dreams, our failures, those deep places hid away.  What will they really do for us?  How is it that we think we can plan our own lives, and carve happiness from the things of this life?  How is it that we tremble at the feet of One who willing gave all for us?

How is it that when cares roll upon us, we paddle the oars as we float along alone?

Where is our heart where do we turn when friends fail, and family is far away, dreams and goals disappoint our strength fades to feebleness?

Oh what have we to lose by turning from our empty cup, to the One whose cup overflows?

Oh why do we tarry so long, when Jesus promises to walk with us?

Oh why do we cling to the things of this earth, to our dreams, to our passions, our pride?When Jesus says He that loveth His life will lose it but He that loses His life for my sake will find it?

Oh what do we have to risk, oh why do we hold back?  Oh why do we scurry here and scurry there, looking for fulfillment in every place except the only One who can truly satisfy?

Oh friend, what do you have to lose?  Oh sister surrender to Him.  Oh brother let him strengthen you for his service.  Oh what do we give up when we give up all?  Oh what do we have to lose?  Jesus stands at the door of our heart pleading and waiting expectantly, Oh how can we leave him waiting outside, when our hearts are so empty and cold?  Oh how can we keep on going lukewarm, oh how can we keep running on an empty tank?  Oh why do we trust a heart that is deceitful, over a heart that is warm with love?  A heart that gave all a heart that yearns over us, a heart that weeps over us, a heart that prays over us with quivering lip, a heart that will not let us go.  Oh how can we turn from a heart that is pursuing us so relentlessly, to pursue those things that will never truly satisfy?  

"You who in heart long for something better than this world can give, recognize this longing as the voice of God to your soul." 
- Steps to Christ pg. 28 

“In giving ourselves to God, we must necessarily give up all that would separate us from Him.  Hence the Savior says, "Whosoever he be of you that forsaketh not all that he that, he cannot be My disciple."  Luke 14:33.  Whatever shall draw away the heart from God must be given up." 
- Steps to Christ pg. 44 

“But what do we give up, when we give all?  A sin-polluted heart, for Jesus to purify, to cleanse by His own blood, and to save by His matchless love.  And yet men think it is hard to give up all!  I am ashamed to hear it spoken of, ashamed to write it.  God does not require us to give up anything that it is for our best interest to retain.  In all that He does, He has the well-being of His children in view.  Would that all who have not chosen Christ might realize that He has something vastly better to offer them than they are seeking for themselves." 
- Steps to Christ 46

Oh what can we compare to the sacrifice of Christ?  Oh what can we exchange to be worthy of His matchless love?  Oh give Him your heart today!!

Junk Mail

Time to check my email.  Wow more emails then I had expected.  I have a habit of deleting all the "junk mail" before I focus on reading the more import emails.  As I scrolled through the list, I couldn't help but notice the object lesson.  How often in my spiritual life am I trying to focus on God, doing my devotions, without cutting out all the many other distractions.  No wonder I haven't been blessed or had as much time for my devotions recently, how have I been prioritizing time?  Am I cutting out all the junk mail, and distractions to place my full focus and attention on the messages God is trying to send me?

Compromise and Guarding Hearts

The message was powerful - Compromise.  "Could it be that we are only getting half of the blessings that God wants to bestow upon us because we are compromising?"  the speaker asked.  "Lord show me where I'm compromising", I prayed.  I kind of already knew what it was, but it's so small.  "This can't really count", I rationalized.  But I knew better!

As girls, it's normal, it's fun "girl talk", what's wrong with match making anyways?  It's all in fun!  We could be wrong we could be right there's nothing really at risk.  After all, I'm single, my girl friends are single, what's the big deal?  It's natural for me to be interested in someone, I mean this is college, not high school, I'm not even a teenager, this is the time.  And what's more, I'm not doing anything wrong!  I'm not having sex -I'd never even think of that! - I wouldn't kiss, I'm not even acting flirtatious, it's just....my thoughts!  But isn't that where it all starts?  Isn't that the root?  I know for me it's too easy to let thoughts slip, I'm castle building, dreaming, wishing, imagining....

What does the Bible say?  "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."  Matthew 5:28  Of course this can apply to women as well as it can to men.  I can't help but think of the many other verses in the Bible about our hearts.  Jesus said:  "For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh."  Luke 6:45.  What do my words reflect?  If Christ is first in my heart won't that be who I want to talk about the most?  And when I am thinking about guys, there's a warning lest I think my attractions are the more "mature".  "The heat is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"  Jeremiah 17:9.  And my favorite out of them all:  "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."  Proverbs 4:23.

Needless to say I could't fight the conviction.

As I silently prayed for strength to live out my conviction, I decided on an easy way to remember where to keep my thoughts at:  Expect nothing, imagine nothing.  Expect nothing from a guy, and imagine nothing.  Simple.  Easier said than done!  I'm not the type of girl who is attracted to a bunch of guys, I know what I'm looking for and it's easy to spot the high quality, spiritual, mission-minded guys.  My attractions are mature!  It's not a compromise!  But I had to look at things from a different perspective.  What if it did work out?  What if I were to marry him?  Would I like him to know how I had talked about him to my girl friends before he had even indicated anything to me?  And what's more than that, what kind of example am I setting for my younger sisters in Christ?  It's not worth the fun of teasing around for the hurt it could cause.  Playing with peoples attractions, affections: it isn't worth the risk.  Is that really the true love Christ would have me to show to them?  And beyond that, as a Christian, I am called to a higher standard.  How will the world see anything different in me if I'm compromising here?

As I drove to the evangelistic series tonight I had time to reflect on my previous decision, and I had time to pray.  "Lord," I prayed, "I'm totally giving this to you, if you ever give him back to me I will count it as a gift from You."  A peace came over me.  I have to say God makes things easier for us when we are willing to surrender to Him!

The meeting was about Jesus - all about Jesus - and the plan of salvation. I've heard it before, but it resonated with me all over again!  As I thought of Christ's love for me and how much he gave up, the risk he took just to give me the chance to make a decision for Him; I was really convicted that Christ love should be all that satisfies me.  When the speaker brought out the point that salvation is a free gift - we can do nothing to earn it - my mind drew a parallel.  In the same way that I am unworthy of Christ's love, so I would be unworthy of a relationship, especially the guy I would be interested in.  It may sound silly, but honestly.  Think about it, what do you do to earn a relationship?  Don't you want to just love each other for who you are?  I couldn't help but think of my prayer earlier.

Truly, love and relationships are a gift, a gift from heaven.  As a young lady I can say it's easy at times to get caught up in wondering what I could do to impress, what he would like, how I could catch his eyes....I'll admit, I'm not above the temptation to impress!  But it's not worth the compromise.  The plans that God has for me - for you - are too much greater!  It's not worth trifling with, it's not worth joking about.  It's not worth the compromise!  It's the least I can do to not compromise, when Christ gave all for me!

May God help me to be true to my conviction!

GRACE!

Today I experienced grace for the "first" time!  I was driving to school to teach violin lessons, and I was running late.  Passing a 40 mph sign I somehow began accelerating nonetheless.  A minute or so later I found myself thinking, "the speed limit has to be 55 by now!"  As I rounded a corner I saw a red car pulled over, it didn't look like a police car, but it still made me wonder.  Before I knew it the car had pulled around and I had flashing lights behind me.  I felt like crying, and I wanted to tell the police that I had never been pulled over before, but I politely answered his questions.  My feelings must have been written all over my face, (I don't hide my emotions very well).  "So do you know why I pulled you over?", the officer asked me.  "I was going too fast".  (I couldn't even use the proper term-"I was speeding", which might have sounded better...oh well!)  "You were driving 55 in a 40", he informed me.  He asked to see my drivers' license.  "Are you a student at Southern?"  "Yes", I replied.  "So what are you in a hurry for?"  "I'm running late to work." "Where do you work?"  I'm told him what elementary school I was headed to.  "I know where that's at", he replied.  "Well do me a favor, and slow down, it's 40 mph here and up ahead it drops to 35 mph. And hope you enjoy your work."  "I will do that" I assured him, "Thank you so much!"  And that was it!  

As I drove away it struck me that I had just been a recipient of grace.  It was hard not to keep back the tears!  That was close!  I was going 15 miles over the speed limit, the police had all rights to write me out a ticket!  And yet he had let off the hook without even a written warning!  The moment I realized I was being pulled over, my imagination went to the ticket I was going to have to pay, and "wait, I'm still under 21, does that mean I would have to go back to drivers school?  Or was that just for when I was under 18 with a license?  What would the implications be, besides a low bank account, I really can't afford that right now!"  I knew full well what I deserved, but grace had given me the exact opposite.  This week in Christian Beliefs and Christian Spirituality we have been studying salvation.  I couldn't help but think of the amazing grace that God has for us.  "The law entered, that the offence might abound. But where sin abounded, grace did much more abound...."  Romans 5:20.  The words of one of my favorite hymns comes to mind: "Marvelous grace of our loving Lord, Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!  Yonder on Calvary's mount out poured-There where the blood of the Lamb was spilt."  Grace, grace, God's grace, Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;  Grace, grace, God's grace, Grace that is greater than all our sin!"

  This afternoon, grace took on a newer meaning to me. I always had the theoretical knowledge of grace, but now I knew the experience!  How many times have I failed,  "the evil which I would not that I do." (Romans  7:24).  Even my original motives for seeking Christ were not pure.  But His grace sought me out before I knew Him, "But God commended His love toward us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."  Romans 5:8.  It's one thing for the police to not write you out a ticket, but what if he had to pay the ticket for me?  He had never even met me before.  "For scarcely for a righteous man some would die..."  Romans 5:7.  The implications of what Christ did for me are infinitely greater than the mercy that I was shown this afternoon, but even that warmed my heart!  O the matchless, amazing love, and wondrous grace and mercy my heavenly Father has for me!  

Grace is truly a mystery, even Paul says so.  "If ye have heard of the dispensation of the grace of God which is given me to you: How that by revelation he made known unto me the mystery; (as I wrote before in few words, Whereby, when ye read, ye may understand my knowledge in the mystery of Christ) Which in other ages was not made known unto the sons of men as it is nor revealed...."  Ephesians 3:2-5.  Truly Christ revealed unto us the greatest mystery of grace, a gift, a privilege, a power to keep us from falling back into the same issues, something I totally don't deserve, but freely given out of love.  Paul wrote to the Galatians and told them, "I marvel that ye are so soon removed from him that called you into the grace of Christ..."  Galatians 1:6.  

"O Father help me to not run from your grace!  May I value it for what it is and live in it, and not make it into cheap grace!  Thank you for grace!"

A Lesson on How to be Ready to Receive the Holy Spirit

Busy Friday afternoon, cleaning up the dorm room, - after a worship and picnic with Southern Connections.  Only an hour or so till vespers!  As I worked on cleaning, I couldn't help but think of how much higher my standards of neatness were than my suite mates.  No matter how clean I cleaned things, they wouldn't say anything about it, and the bathroom would still get messy again.  My room couldn't be the paramount of cleanliness, beauty and order as I can how tidy my room mate wants to be.  As I evaluated my train of thought I realized how much I was missing the point!  It was all about what I wanted, and how much better I was for cleaning.  My motives were all wrong.  Just a few hours before I had posted on face book "Ran to town this morning to do some errands, left my clothes in the dryer not expecting to be gone log.  Came back to my clothes folded!  Thank you to the person who will likely never read this!  I love thoughtful people!  I will have to remember to return the favor."  Now here I was with the opportunity, and instead I was having a begrudging spirit!

After finishing cleaning and changing my clothes for vespers I realized I was running late, I quickly checked my email to see where I was going (since I'd never been there or heard of it before.)  Needless to say, I spent fifteen minutes driving past it not seeing it because it was back in the woods.  Frustrated, I sent a text message to someone there to get directions....swallow my pride and admit it's nice to get directions from someone else sometimes!

"What a way to begin the Sabbath!"  I thought to myself!  "Struggling with a bad attitude, and then late to a vespers!"  As I thought about it hit me:  God was bringing out just the weaknesses in my character that I needed to submit to him to be right with Him, and draw closer!  First the holier than thou attitude/begrudging spirit, and secondly my tendency to not want to ask anyone else for help.  In Corinthians it talks about how God loves a cheerful giver, was I giving my time cheerfully when I was going above what the necessary standard of cleanliness was?  What was my motive anyway?  Just too look good?  God created us to live in communities, and learn from each other and help each other.  That's an easier concept for me to accept when I'm NOT on the receiving line.  Volunteer to help me and most of the time I'll bulk, tell me I need to ask for help, and I'll think "no I can handle it myself!"

The Sabbath School lesson this morning was about preparing to receive the latter rain of the Holy Spirit.  How beautiful of the Lord to reveal my weaknesses and my need of a Character transformation!  When I'm willing to open my heart to God he has great things in store for me!  "Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall com e from the presence of the Lord;" Acts 3:18.  How I'm looking forward to and praying for that time of refreshing!  What a merciful God we serve!

So next time you feel like you're at the end of your rope, and circumstances bring out the worst in you, step back, take a breath, say a prayer, and ask the Lord what he wants you to learn through it.  Look at it as an opportunity to draw closer to Him and let Him prepare your heart for the outpouring of the Holy Spirit!

  

Bible Study!!

"We are still a few minutes early", I said, "well let's pray", my outreach partner suggested.  So that is what we did, we prayed for a good 15 minutes, pouring out our hearts, interceding for our new Bible study contacts.  The focus of our prayers was Mrs. A, we were about to knock on her door and study with her for the first time.  We were especially praying that she would be home and we could study the Bible with her!

It all started two weeks, ago...no actually...it started months ago...wait, years ago?

Rushville, IL, 2005.  I was twelve, a speaker had just visited our church for a weekend seminar, he spoke on the importance of sharing our faith with others, how probation was soon to close, and the signs that showed we are nearing the end.  "But I'm not really capable of sharing, and I don't have any one to share with, and I don't know enough to share!", I thought to myself.  I remember talking to the speaker and he quoted Proverbs 11:25, "he that watereth shall be watered also himself."

Fast forward...Summer 2013, Maple Plain, MN.  I was working as a canvassing leader. Towards the end of the summer I had a lot of time to canvass on my own as the other students knew what they were doing.  I was really struggling trusting my future to God.  I wanted a plan so bad.  As the last two weeks of canvassing rounded up I met ten people interested in studying the Bible.  Through the experiences God lead me to go to SALT at Southern Adventist University.  (By the way it's excellent training, you should go through it if you want to become better equipped to study the Bible with others!)

East Ridge, TN...My outreach partner and I walked up a hill to some apartments, it was my turn to canvass.  A nice lady came to the door and opened the door and invited us in.  She had her grandson at home with her, and she shared with us that her and her husband were in the middle of getting custody of him.  She said in through the tough experience she had been reading the Bible more and it was giving her just the strength she needed.  It was so exciting to have a Bible study contact who I could tell was really interested!  We scheduled the study two weeks from that day.  

Back to this afternoon....Our prayer time ended and we went up to find her apartment.  She came to the door and invited us in!  Praise the Lord!  We went in and started visiting with her.  "I haven't studied the lesson yet," she confided, that's okay, we assured her, we will go over it together.  We continued to visit, and then asked for prayer requests.  She asked for prayer for strength with what she was going through with her daughter, in getting custody of her grandson.  As we started the lesson she told us that she had had more peace since we had come to visit her two weeks ago.  What an answer to prayer!  "I really appreciate you coming."  "I have been sick with pneumonia, she told us, "but today I am felling better"....what providence, I thought!  

As we began to get into the Word, she was really interested.  As we talked about the image in Daniel 2, she said "That is cool, these metals match up perfect with like the bronze age, etc., in history!"  "Are you a history buff?", Jaime asked,  "Yes a little bit."   She also told us, "I am just getting into the Bible all over again.  This reminds me of studying the Bible every Sunday when I was younger, my Dad was a deacon in church.  We tend to turn to the Bible when hard things come into our lives."  She shared.  Through the study her husband confided that he was starting to turn to the Bible as well.  "When we got married I decided to not push my religion on my husband", she said.  "I'm listening too", her husband insisted, "I just need to help entertain our grandson and keep the dogs quiet for you."  

As we continued to study she asked the question, "I wonder how long it will actually be till that kingdom comes, how do we know?"   "That's a great question!  We will be covering it in our next Bible study!"  I ended the study by reading John 14:1-3, and pointing to our hope for a Christ's kingdom that will last forever.  "John is a great book to read for devotions," I threw in, "its so focused on Jesus!"  "We will have to remember that", she said!  We ended and set up a time to come back.

As I was thinking back over our study together, I couldn't help but remember two weeks ago hurriedly filling out the same Bible study guide for class, it was really easy, "I already know all this, it is so simple!"  I remember thinking.  I honestly didn't get anything out of it.  But this time sharing it with someone else, the Word was coming ALIVE, we were all INTO the Word!

It was the most amazing experience ever!  I left with a joy that I haven't felt since my baptism.  The words came into my mind "he that watereth shall be watered also himself."  Proverbs 25:11

God's word is truly powerful!

"So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it"

Isaiah 55:11

On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand

What is it about climbing?  Rocks, mountains?  I just love them!

This past Sunday my room mate and I went for a walk and ended up at the Wellness Center; "Let's try the walk wall!" she said enthusiastically.  I finally agreed...homework can wait till the morning.  As I climbed up, one hand hold at a time, one step at a time, I thought of what it really takes to make it to the top - and the spiritual object lessons as well.  First you have to keep going not matter what.  You have to keep looking up, - higher and higher - at where your going to place your hand next.  I found that for the harder climbs it was helpful to watch what handholds other people had used.  The hardest part for me honestly was letting go, I would hold on tightly to the handholds - even if I wasn't sure where to go next - but to just let go and let the rope hold me and take me back down when I was done climbing...now that was a little scary!  It made me realize how much I really do struggle with trust.  Can I really trust the rope?  Would it really hold me?  What would it feel like to have my hands on nothing and just be hanging in the mid air?

How often do I have the same attitude in my spiritual life?  Yes, there's a climb, but where is my trust?  Is it in the almighty arm that holds me up?  Is it the tie of my Jesus' love that holds me up to my Heavenly Father?Or is it my grip on where I'm at right now?  Could it be that in the Christian race, the climb, the journey, I may get so focused on where I'm at right now - just trying to hold on with a tight grip - that I forget who is holding me?  One of my favorite quotes says of Jesus:  "In taking our nature, the Savior has bound Himself to humanity by a tie that is never to be broken.  Through the eternal ages He is linked with us.  "God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotten Son." John 3:16"  Desire of Ages 25.  I have every reason in the world to trust myself to my Savior!

The other vital principles were looking up (not down!), and watching how others climbed.  This weekend we had a beautiful retreat for the class "Intro to Ministry".  For one of our activities on Sabbath afternoon we were to write out all the different life experiences that had impacted us.  In the discussion that concluded Dr. Tryon told us that the purpose is to keep going forward (although we need to learn from our past), as Paul said:   "But this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."  Phil. 3:13-14.  In climbing looking down only makes you dizzy and totally loose focus on where your are headed up next!

Friday night at retreat we read the Hebrews 13:7:  "Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow...." and talked about the importance of learning from the spiritual leaders God has placed in our lives.  It is always helpful to learn from observing other people!  As Paul says to the Corinthians:  "Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ."

1 Cor. 11:1 

As I begin a new week of classes, the restful Sabbath hours ended, the pressures of assignments and deadlines to meet, I have to challenge myself, am I looking up?  Am I following the foot steps of my Master who I walked this way before hand?  Am I holding on to the tie that can never be broken?  How thankful I am that the love our master rock climber has for us is a love that "neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from.  Nay in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us!"  Romans 8: 38, 39, 37

"A wonderful Savior is Jesus my Lord, A wonderful Savior to me, He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock, Where rivers of pleasure I see.  He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock That shadows a dry, thirsty land; He hideth my life in the depths of His love, And covers me there with His hand, And covers me there with His hand." 

-Fanny Crosby

11:30 p.m.  "I am never doing this again!  My brain is dead!"  I said to myself!  I had been up since 6 in the morning, left campus for outreach classes and door knocking at 8:30 and then didn't get back till 8pm!  It had been way too long of a day for me!

The first two weeks of classes were pretty easy.  I could wrap my mind around the homework and I was just all excited about the opportunity to learn again, make new friends, etc.  It was a little like the honeymoon experience after you have made a commitment to something new.  But yesterday it really hit me...the rubber met the road.  I hadn't studied for my quiz, I hadn't done all the reading I was supposed to for classes, the enjoyable weekend had threw me off.  I wrote out all my homework for the next day of class on my daily planner and wondered how I would finish it all!

There was a paper due for the next day, "I guess I'll start writing it now, I can finish it tomorrow morning".  (It was an easy paper, not an essay.)  As I downloaded the instructions for the assignment off eclass, I realized it was due that night in just three hours-not tomorrow!  I began to write away, and to my dismay didn't get to bed till 11:30!  That is totally against everything I have been taught-every right principle, against what my body needs, against my college resolutions! "I can't do this to myself again", I thought, as I went to sleep!  I was too tired to be stressed out, and I was sure I would get a decent grade on that assignment; but my thoughts rolled to homework. "How am I really going to be able to keep up with all these assignments this semester?  I have other things to do to! There's outreach, the new Bible study contacts, my new job teaching violin lessons, and the small group Bible study I will be starting soon.  Something is going to have to go....Do I just pick a class to get a C in and skip some assignments?  Do I try hard to manage my time better?  Do I cut out social time and take less time eating?  Going to bed late is just not an option....And neither is stress I need a battle plan!!"

This morning as I woke up I decided to do Scripturetyper (a website for memorizing and reviewing Bible verses by typing them), for my devotions to keep my Bible memory up to par.  Before I started I prayed, "Lord I don't want to just type these from memory please speak to me through your word what I need to hear."

2 Chronicles 20:17 "Ye shall not need to fight in this battle set yourselves stand ye still and see the salvation of the Lord with you; O Judah and Jerusalem fear not nor be dismayed to morrow go out against them for the Lord will be with you, for the battle is not yours but God's."

It was a beautiful reminder, a gentle rebuke to me that what I am facing:-the battle to keep above drowning in homework...the battle to keep a balanced life and remember that relationships are more important than grades...the battle to come higher in my walk with Jesus this semester and put him and sharing him first before my own responsibilities-all of this is not my battle it is the Lord's.  I know God brought me here, and he is saying "Don't be dismayed Leah, don't worry this is My responsibility, I will fight your battles for you!" What a beautiful assurance!!

The amazing thing is God didn't even tell them "Get up go fight right now, here's how your battle plan, I'll be with you."  That would be my picture of working with God- do it immediately, and yes he'll be with you but you've really got to still fight hard!  But that isn't the picture here!  Instead it's a picture of rest "stand still", see the salvation of the Lord.  It's not about seeing the salvation of Leah, the good grades, etc.  No God is calling me to stand still.  And he said "Tomorrow go out against them."  Why tomorrow?  All I can say is that God's timing is perfect and when he says tomorrow not today that is what he means.  It reminds me of the story of the disciples after Jesus went back to heaven, He had told them to tarry at Jerusalem until the Holy Spirit comes upon you.  Now you would think to just go out there and evangelize the world, I mean how exciting Jesus had rose again!  Let's get the boll rolling, right?  But no again in scripture there was a pause, a demand in fact to pause and pray and wait for the Holy Spirit.

I have to ask my self "Am I standing still enough to really see the salvation of the Lord?  Am I taking a significant amount of time to pray and let the Holy Spirit come into my life each morning before I hurry off to breakfast, and finish a few assignments before starting class at 8:30?"

Life will never "calm down".  College is a great place for me to learn how to prioritize.  My prayer is "Lord help me to remember to be still and know that you are God!  Remind me to stand still and see your salvation!  Thank you that this semester is yours, that you have a plan for me.  Thank you for bringing me here and teaching me to depend upon You and not my own strength!  I give You permission to take over my life!  Thank you!  Amen"

It was a lazy Friday...virtually nothing to do but homework.  I had a lot of time to think and reflect (one of my favorite things to do).  As I thought of the events of the past weeks, and how God had lead me to Southern Adventist University, I realized "I have not been one bit homesick since I left my home!"  Not that I was expecting to be of course, but it was more than that, I had been filled with joy-not just happy but truly joyful-ever since I had started the SALT program (Soul-winning and Leadership Training).  I hadn't thought a lot about it until my room mate invited me to a girls Bible study Thursday night.  The young ladies were sharing how God had been with them in the tough things they had went through when the had first came to college, the tears, the loneliness.  It was then that I realized, "I have really been blessed!"  "Father", I prayed, "I don't want to be out of touch with those who are hurting, I remember what it was like being a freshmen two years ago when I first went to college, it was hard, I haven't always had this must joy, I know it is what you have given me.  You must be giving me this joy and security in you so I can reach out to others.  Please help me to be able to do that and help me to be able to weep with those who weep."  The day went on, but God didn't forget my prayer.....

I sat in prayer at a wonderful church members home, in a circle praying for the Holy Spirit, praying for the church.  It was a wonderful experience!  As we finished prayer time, the golden red sun was just setting over the hazy grey-blue mountain tops.  We gazed out the picture windows and as we all began to sing, "Day is Dying in the West".  I wanted to stay and continue to soak in the beauty of the moment but I had to leave and go to vespers at the University church.  The speaker was powerful.  He spoke on how the Holy Spirit will empower the youth to do a work for Him.  One thing that stood out in my mind that he said was that no one in the church is supposed to just be God has a plan for each of us.

Before the message began the congregation had broke up into groups and prayed together.  My prayer partner asked that we pray for the students, that each one would find their niche in campus ministries.  As I listened to the message my heart was moved for the youth.  I closed my eyes and started praying earnestly for the students and for my own heart that God would open me up to His leading and use me to reach others!

The message came to a close and I went out to the booths of campus ministry.  It was a rich evening!  There were only a few ministries I could honestly say wouldn't "fit me".  But the majority I had a lot of interest in.  I was thinking and brainstorming..."I know I can't do everything but maybe I could do a little of this and this and this..."

My heart was full as I walked back to my room in the girls dorm just a few minutes before 11 pm.  I despise going to bed late..."I will have to get up early the next morning to drive to church...but oh well, tonight was worth it"...such were my thoughts as I rounded the last bend of stairs and opened the door to the 3rd floor. As I opened the door I saw a young lady curled up on the sofa in the lobby with a cell phone in her hand sobbing her heart out!  The young lady in front of me walked on by but I couldn't...something compelled me, I couldn't pass her by...she's hurting...she needs a friend...she needs a hug...she needs a prayer....I sat down on the couch next to her and wrapped my arms around her.  She dropped her phone onto her lap and flung her arms around me and we held each other close.

Now what do you say what do you pray?  I had no idea what she was going through, I had never met her before...but the promises rang true in this instance:  "...the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us..." and, "Take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you."  Romans 8:26; Matthew 10:19-20.

First, you be just be honest to God and bring the case before Him.  And so that's what I did.  "Lord I don't know what my dear sister is going through but I just uplift her to you, I pray you will wrap your arms of comfort around her and may she feel your presence near her"....That's all I can remember of my prayer, but it didn't stop there....I would pause for a moment and then a Bible promise would come to my mind and I would pray that promise for her.  All I remember is that when I claimed the promises I did so with confidence, with boldness, and assurance. "I claim this for my sister here in the name of Jesus" I would say!  The sobs calmed down and I ended our time together.  "Thank you", she said "that is just what I needed."

I left partly awe stricken....you just have to be silent before the presence of God after something like that.  I can't describe it...all I can say is that is a beautiful thing to be used by God....To just be there for someone.  I then remembered my prayer from earlier that morning....God hears!

Next morning in Sabbath School again I was just basking in the moment,  thoroughly enjoying the Bible study, with a room full of peers.  Such a privilege after being in a church with very few peers for the past year!  Our study lead us to the verse in Matthew Thomas was doubting that Jesus has rose from the dead.  As we discussed the verse and contemplated it's meaning for us today it struck me, "I have been a Thomas!"  "I said the same thing...I am not going to stay at the University unless this and this and this......"  I realize now that all the walls I had put up for why I wasn't sure I was supposed to stay past one semester, were just the things that God was working out!  For example, I had really wanted to be a part of evangelism, I wanted to be at a place where I could grow spiritually,  where I could really reach out to other young people.  And already the Lord was opening many doors for just that!  Who am I to try to plan where I think is the best place for me to be at to grow spiritually?  How merciful God is to let us feel and see Him, even in our moments of doubt!

There's nothing like serving Jesus...there's just NOTHING LIKE IT!  How I wish I just had the power to convince everyone that there's just no better way to live your life than with the King of the Universe who is willing to make his humble abode in our hearts!

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you saith the Lord thoughts of peace and not of evil to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11